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WTF Wednesday: Resource Guarding Edition

24 Jul

According to the manufacturer, the “Beware of the Dog” game will ‘keep the children giggling and the parents shrieking’.

 

That’s right, kids, it’s all fun and games until little Johnny loses half of his face when he tries this with Fluffy in real life.

 

 

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WTF Wednesday

5 Jun

If this isn’t a slow dog-powered drill to hell, we don’t know what is.

 

Dog millMotorized Dog Walker

It may surprise you to learn that there is more than one company who makes these but only one came with a youtube instructional video.

Our favorite part is the Beagle desperately trying to pee while being hauled around by the harness. Her struggles were futile but what about a dog with some more, shall we say, heft?

That would be one way to trench the yard.

If you are as much like us as we suspect, your first reaction to this contraption beyond ‘What fresh hell is this?’ was obviously, ‘I need it.’  What’s not to love? It’s stupid-looking enough to piss off your neighbors and it totally removes the pesky human exercise aspect of walking your dog.

A few alterations including a squirrel bungeed to an RC car and some reverse engineering gobbeldygook and you have a generator to power the mini-fridge you need to hold the beer for sitting outside and watching the people gawking at your dogs.

WTF Wednesday

29 May

Once again, the dog industry has made another contraption that actually adds steps to cleaning up dog poop.   Seriously people, if you don’t want to clean up poop, don’t get a dog.  This is quickly becoming our WTF Wednesday mantra. Seriously guys, even Barbie is doing it.

We present to you… the poop vacuum. That’s right… a vacuum for fecal matter. So, instead of a simple bag that you can toss in the trash you now have a device that has to be scrubbed (we assume? surely you don’t just leave it filthy?) We’d go on… but the website really covers any further mocking we could do. Go ahead, go look. 

Want to see it in action?  Check out this hard-hitting news segment here

http://www.king5.com/news/get-jesse/Jesse-tests-the-Auggiedog-Pooper-Scooper-260485251.html

Also, check out minion Sara snobbing away at the 1:13 mark.  And her hand is less expensive?  That’s what she said….

 

WTF Wednesday: D Cup Edition

10 Apr

Just what every dog needs–lingerie…to chew on.

Screen Shot 2014-04-09 at 8.26.24 PM

So the idea is that giving them these realistic lingerie chew toys will “keep Fido from munching your unmentionables” (ew).  And according to their website,  “These canine pleasers make a squeaky sound when chomped upon – just like YOU would if you were wearing them” (double ew).  Hey sicko, here’s an idea,  just give your pooch a questionable dog toy like the rest of us and call it a day.

 

Ok…and then there’s this fascinating tidbit found on a site for ANOTHER company that sells dog toy lingerie…

Screen Shot 2014-04-09 at 8.27.31 PM

People are buying these items as a package deal? What?  Are they starting a canine brothel?  Are they putting poor Muffy to work on the street corner to earn her keep?   All that is missing is pantyhose…oh wait…

WTF Wednesday

13 Mar

In four simple steps and for a steal at just  $28.95, you too can wash your dog’s paws with ease with the Paw Wash.  Have any questions?  Sure you do, and luckily they even have a FAQ page.   Pro tip:  If you have to follow a series of steps and ask questions about washing your dog’s feet, you’re doing it wrong.  Also, perhaps we’ve been warped by one too many Sex Toy Saturdays… but does this look like a flesh-light to anyone else? Just us? Okay…


And just when we thought it couldn’t get any more stupid….they added a Doodle.

 

WTF Wednesday

5 Mar

Usually, our WTF stands for “What the fuck?” and it’s meant for some bizarre dog product we’ve run across.  This week though, we want to pose a different question for you.

Why The Fuck do these smell like satan’s asshole?

Screen Shot 2014-03-05 at 1.21.22 PM

Like the four horseman of the apocalypse, but smellier.

Seriously.  We raw feed.  We frequently give our dogs tripe.  We’re used to some pretty stanky things. Potnoodle once lost a bag of hot dogs from training under her seat. For a week. In August. The putrid hot dog smell is White Diamonds compared to the homeless on bourbon street smell of these so called  jerky “treats”.  BusyBee originally thought maybe it was just the crawfish ones that smelled like the bottom of a swamp trawler, so naively bought the alligator ones the next week.  Nope.  Gator is just as bad.  Possibly worse.  This is a stink that just don’t come out. It leaches into your skin, perhaps into your nasal cavities. Forever. The rest of your life, you will be referred to as “that weird person that smells like the docks”. Do you want that to happen? We didn’t think so. Consider yourself warned.  And if you are one of those people that is contrary and have decided that you must now buy this product? We suggest wearing gloves.  And giving to your dog outside.  Upwind.

Dear Thinkdog, We have a question for you. Why do these godawful creatures smell so bad? Do you do that on purpose? Also, where do you manufacture this fuckery, because we need to cross it off our places to visit list. We’re pretty sure the entire town smells like rotten fish and broken dreams.

WTF Wednesday: Butt Floss Edition

27 Feb

That’s right.  Butt floss.

 

9 out of 10 Dentists recommend flossing teeth daily.   After seeing this floss dispenser, we’re pretty sure 8 out of 10 people have just decided that they’re never flossing again.  And what about those remaining two people?  Clearly they’ve never had to ‘assist’ their dog with a particularly stubborn dingleberry or had a dog who ingested string, hair, or actual dental floss.

p.s.  Random lady on the internet, you are the worst hand model ever.  We aren’t quite sure what is going on with your nail polish, but we don’t like it one bit.

 

WTF Wednesday: Woah edition

30 Jan

So this week’s WTF Wednesday is a little different.  Instead of bringing you some ludicrous dog-related product, BusyBee has decided to tell you a little story.

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Thank goodness we’re here.

So about two weeks ago I got a random message from Potnoodle asking me if I knew that Mr. T had been in the September issue of Dog Fancy.  After I assured that no, that wasn’t possible, she told me how she had been sitting in a vet office waiting room flipping through the backlogs of magazines.  While perusing the September issue, she nearly fell over when she spotted Mr. T’s giant head staring back at her on the page, at which point she stole (borrowed?) the page and messaged me.

How does one’s dog end up in a magazine without you knowing, you ask?  Well, a friend who works for the city submitted an application for their “Dogtown USA” contest over a year ago and as part of the application she asked a bunch of us for photos of our dog out and about.  Having never heard anything from the magazine, we assumed we hadn’t been chosen and totally forgot about it.  That is, until, Potnoodle randomly stumbled upon Mr. T’s picture in a crumpled waiting room magazine.  I literally would never have known that our town had been named a runner-up and that Mr. T was featured had Potnoodle been bored in a vet waiting room that happened to have an old copy of the magazine.  Woah.

So, for your viewing pleasure, here is Mr. T’s magazine debut.  I just hope it doesn’t go to his head…

unnamed

 

 

WTF Wednesday

16 Jan


This brings a whole new meaning to “that’s a nice set of puppies”

Admittedly the three of us spend more time in “sensible” shoes than heels, but really?   Would people actually wear these?  What would you say if a colleague came in to work wearing them?  Are they anatomically correct?   Is there a chocolate starfish on the heel that we just can’t see from this angle?  Are these puppies speutered?  Would wearing these officially make you the craziest dog lady around?

With all this said…they’re still better than Vibrams.

WTF Wednesday: The Dogbrella Edition

5 Dec

Seriously?  It rains sometimes.  Or frequently, if you’re BusyBee and living in Seattle.  We understand rain gear for dogs, especially those with short coats, no coats, or long coats that need to be protected from the rain, but we just can’t get behind the leash umbrella.

It’s not a coincidence that many temperament tests utilize umbrellas as a novel object. Many  dogs are scared shitless of umbrellas, so yes, let’s strap one to the dog’s back and let the fun begin. Also, even if your dog isn’t afraid of the umbrella, that looks like possibly the most awkward walking arrangement ever. Either the dog is out in front and therefore not under the umbrella or the dog is close to you and you are constantly bumping in to it and being stabbed by the umbrella ribs. The third option, seen in the photograph above, isn’t exactly how we want to hold ourselves for several miles.

Our advice is invest in a raincoat, don’t be that weird recluse in the neighbourhood with a dog umbrella.