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A Year of Snobbery Photo Contest Winners

22 Feb

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner.  Or maybe Indian Food.  We much prefer that.   Mmm…paneer.  Naan…..Ok, sorry.  Back to the contest.   In honor of our one year anniversary at the end of this month, we were looking for photos of how your dogs would celebrate a year of Dog Snobbery.   Without any further ado, here are our winners:

 

The grand prize winner, chosen by us, and the recipient of a gift certificate to Paco Dog Collars, is……….Chuck!!  Between the hand-painted Dog Snob party hat and the cupcakes spelling out Dog Snob, we were thoroughly impressed.   Congratulations Brittany & Chuck!!

The second winner, based on number of likes, is adorable Daisy, whose owner Georgia, has won the right to be our profile photo for the month of March and the ability to suggest a blog topic of her choosing for us to riff on.



Finally,  although we received tons of entries, we were particularly impressed by a few people who must have excelled in grade school reading comprehension, as they submitted photos that were tailored specifically to the Dog Snobs and our one year anniversary.  Therefore, we have three “Honorable Mentions”, whom will be rewarded with dehydrated bull penises (yay!) for their efforts.   Congrats to:

 

           -Molly and her Poodle Chaco

           -Christine and her Doxie Crew

 

           -Nicole and Tater


Congrats to our winners and honorable mentions!  If you could please all follow up with us at thedogsnobs@gmail.com within two weeks with more information on how to claim your prize, that would be fantastic.

 

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Come on let’s Vogue! Or not… Contest winners at the ready!

31 Jul

‘A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.’ – Coco Chanel

Sing it, sister. While our Glamor Shot contest rested heavily in the fabulous camp, we know our minions epitomize the classiest of the classy kids.

Classy

*tiny champagne toast taps*

We had some awesome entries and the creativity displayed was great. If we could pick you all, we wouldn’t because that would defeat the purpose of a contest but it was a tough run to be the top pick.

Our People’s Choice winner with a whopping number of likes is Ms. Frost the Can-Can Dancer looking ever so refined. Frost will be receiving a ‘Questionable Dog Toy’ from us along with the accolades of our quasi-popular blog followers and our never-ending respect for having a dog-sized Can-Can outfit at the ready. Your Halloween must be amazing.

Not everyone can rock the stripes.

Our pick, and our profile picture for the month of August are the lovely Trillian and Puzzle sporting their parade wear and astonishing the masses.

Put a ring on it.

Congrats guys and awesome entries once again. Thanks to all of you who entered, remember our next contest has already begun so keep your cameras at the ready. If you need a reminder: Asshats are bad. Training is good. Film it. Win a custom t-shirt. Got it? Good.

Snob on Minions.

Don’t Be An Asshat Contest

26 Jul

Remember that time we told you that if more people spent the time they used arguing about training to actually train, the world would be a better place and considerably less damn annoying?

Probably not, you totally remember the breast fed dog though.

Well we’re ready to put our money where our mouth is. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is this: Every time you read something training related  on the internet that enrages you, instead of yelling at the idiot while you envision choking them out with a Halti or bludgeoning them to death with a Flexi… go train your dog. All we ask for is ten minutes, spent working with your dog on the trick of your choosing for six weeks. The worst that can happen? Your dog ends up with a pretty cool trick. The best that can happen? You get a dog snobs t-shirt with your dog’s silhouette* on it! That’s right… there is a prize for the winner and it’s a good one that means we need to be crafty so appreciate it.

That’s for us, not for you.

How do you win, you ask? By impressing us with a short video of a complex** trick taught over the six weeks you’ve been abstaining from preaching the word of your training philosophy. At the end of the six weeks (Around the 30th of August.), you send us a youtube link to our email or submit the video to our drop box. Sounds like fun, eh? No need for professional productions but a clear shot of the dog performing the trick will help.

He could be reciting Shakespeare but we can’t tell if it’s a dog or an English professor, so use some sense.

Remember, we do know how to work the internet and we are in a lot of groups. We’ll know if you’re still out there being an Evangelist. Also, don’t rip-off someone else’s trick, be inspired but don’t just rip it off the internet. People get mad and send us emails and then we mock them and Fang gets told not to call people names on the internet… It’s all very annoying so just don’t do it.

Don’t send us this. We know it.

*Part of the dealio is we need a decent picture of the dog to get a silhouette from. If we can’t get that we’ll come up with a breed silhouette that works or you can pick one of the Dog Snobs’ existing t’s. Winner’s choice.

**Sit is neither complex nor impressive. There are hundreds of cool tricks out there. Take a few and make them your own. Originality counts.

Where Do Puppies Come From?: Why We Judge People Who Have Oops Litters

10 May

As the prize for winning the first-ever Dog Snob photo contest, Ali B. earned the right to choose any topic of her choice for us to riff on, and boy did she pick a doozie.  Ali consulted with her friends from vet school and came up with the idea of judging “idiot owners that didn’t expect their unneutered pets to have sex.”  Yes, this is an idea we can get behind…ew…we mean…on board with.

 

So perhaps we should start out by explaining the birds and the bees, or in this case the intact dogs and bitches.  When a mommy dog and a daddy love each other….oh wait.  Nevermind.  When a dog and bitch are left alone together…they will get it on.  (cue Barry White)

 

Below are some examples (many of which are common threads on Yahoo! Answers of things idiot owners will say when their intact dogs end up mating.  We’re pretty certain (fine, 100% sure) that if one of these thoughts ever crosses your mind, you are NOT ready to keep intact dogs.  Or procreate yourselves.  Or read our blog.

 

“But they’re siblings!!”

Yes, of course your dogs know that incest is wrong.  Given that your dogs aren’t confused, horny pre-pubescent teens reading “Flowers in the Attic” , we’re pretty sure that they have no idea what incest is even is.

 

Girl, you like fiiiiine

Girl, you like fiiiiine

 

“I thought they would know better!”

Oh, you thought your dogs understood our human ideas of right and wrong?

That’s nice. Keep that in mind the next time your dog gets sick from eating something gross or runs after a squirrel. Some things are inevitable, like the tragedy that will befall you if you utter these words.

 

It’s not just a dog food, kids.

 

“Well, they’re totally different sizes!”

Because that’s ever stopped two dogs before.  Have you noticed how many dogs are part Dachshund?  Those little fuckers get around.

 lil frank meme

 

 


“I only left them alone for a minute!”

We’re not saying your bitch got any satisfaction out of it, just that you let her get pregnant. Dogs are like teenage boys–it only takes a second. Also, they often smell bad and will hump anything with a pulse.

“Yeah, I can do plenty of bad things before you get back, enjoy your trip.”

“We have five dogs in the house, its nearly IMPOSSIBLE to prevent a pregnancy”

So you authorized a doggy gang bang? If you aren’t smart enough to prevent a

pregnancy… spay the bitch, neuter the dog, and punch yourself in the throat.

It’s like a doggy diaper and a chastity belt all in one.*

“I didn’t want the dog to leave blood on the upholstery so I tied her up outside.”

Right, because obviously having puppies is MUCH less messy. Dog Birth is like a scene from “Carrie”, if Carrie licked up the mess afterwards. It’s gross. If you don’t want to spay your dog, get hot pants.

It’s not quite a kotex ad, but you get the gist.

 

“I didn’t know he was mating with her, I thought they were just playing!”

They were playing….hide and seek.

Not quite what they meant by the dog being tied

Not quite what they meant by the dog being tied

*belly bands do NOT actually work as chastity belts. Don’t try it, dumbass.

What are the worst excuses you’ve ever heard given for accidental litters?  Rage on, minions, rage on!

First Dog Snob Photo Contest

1 May

Deciding on a winner was not easy. There was an all-out debate, a little name-calling, and some decidedly bitchy sniping that went into making this decision.  Ultimately, we were able to land on a snobby dog that was worthy of representing us for the month of May.  Drumroll please….

 

Our Choice:

 

Ali B. and Sport!!!

That face, side-eye and all, was just too much to ignore.  Congratulations!  You get the illustrious honor of being our profile picture for the month of May and the ability to choose a blog topic for the three of us to riff on.  Better make it good–we’re feeling extra snarky!

 

 

In addition to the picture voted on by us, the lucky minion (who  received an amazing 81 likes) who wins a questionable dog toy of our choice is…..

 

 

People’s Choice:  

 

Tracy P. and Daisy!

 

Both winners should contact us privately as soon as possible.  Either Email us at thedogsnobs@gmail.com or message us on facebook.


Thanks to everyone that sent us photos, we laughed out loud at most of them. For those of you who didn’t win (we won’t go as far as calling you losers, but….), we are excited to announce that we will post our next month’s contest tomorrow!  Stay tuned….

First Dog Snob Photo Contest: Show Us Your Dog Snob

7 Apr

This was posted to Facebook last night, posting here for those of you that haven’t liked us on Facebook. You should really get on that…

Who’s the biggest snob? So our super-cool Viszla picture is not actually ours… Yeah yeah we know Copyright laws, lawsuits, angry fines etc. So we’ve come up with a solution that we think you’re going to like… *drumroll* A Contest! Specifically a photo contest of your snobbiest canine companion.
-The first winner, as selected by us (Who’s better to judge you than us, right?) gets the illustrious honor of being our profile picture and a blog feature including our ever so present opinions on whatever topic you’d like us to riff on with your feature photo included.
-The second winner is selected by you, our readers and the ever popular Facebook “Like”. Get your friends, dog compatriots and your mother (if she’s cool with talking about sex toys because if she’s not be prepared for a lecture) to like you picture and you could win a (new) questionable dog toy we’ve featured on the blog. It’s our choice so don’t get greedy.

-Now for the boring bits: The photo must be of your dog or a dog owned by your immediate family. You must have the rights to the photo (no watermarks please). Enter by emailing us your pictures at thedogsnobs@gmail.com. We’re also holding you hostage and making you like us to win. You can take it back, but we know who you are so Ha! Snobby is totally subjective but some snobby things that might get you some bonus points; Raised eyebrows, smirks, moustaches, monocles, Kafk, Tolstoy or any obscure literature that we would know but no one else would because we’re hipster like that.

The Deadline for Snobby Pics is April 31st.
Send entries to us as an attachment at thedogsnobs@gmail.com with your name, the dog’s name, and what makes them the snobbiest in the land.
Happy picture taking minions