Dogs have a special place in our hearts with their wagging tails and joyful barks. But did you know that they can also inspire some tail-waggingly good humor? Here are 87 of the best dog jokes to make dog lovers of all ages howl with laughter and maybe groan a bit as well!
87 Best Dog Jokes
- Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!
2. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
3. What did the dog say to the tree? Bark!
4. My dog’s only got three legs, blind in one eye, and can’t hear. On the plus side, he doesn’t bark much.
5. I told my dog to fetch the paper. Now he’s reading it on the couch.
6. I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
7. What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound.
8. What’s a Chihuahua’s favorite movie? “Paws.”
9. Why are Dalmatians so bad at hide and seek? They’re always spotted!
10. What do you call a cold dog? A pupsicle!
11. Why did the dog bring a ladder to work? He wanted to go up in the world.
12. What kind of dog does a scientist have? A lab!
13. Why did the dog go to the vet? Because he was feeling “ruff.”
14. What’s a vet’s favorite Beatles song? I Want to Hold Your Paw.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Woof. Woof who? Make up your mind, are you a person or a dog?
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howell. Howell who? Howell you know if you don’t open the door?
17. Why did the poor dog chase his tail? He was trying to make ends meet.
18. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
19. What do you call a dog who likes baths? A shampoo-dle.
You might enjoy reading my article on Knock Knock Dog Jokes.
20. Why did the dog wear a watch? He wanted to be a watchdog!
21. Why did the dog sit on the remote? He wanted to change the channels himself.
22. What do you get if you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver.
23. What’s a dog’s favorite instrument? A trombone.
24. Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in squares!
25. What do you call a dog who can tell time? A watchdog!
26. Why did the dog wear glasses? To help with his “barktometry.”
27. Why did the dog sit down at the computer? He wanted to update his barklog.
28. What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupperoni!
29. Why did the dog become a detective? To sniff out the clues!
30. What’s a dog’s favorite city? New Yorkie.
31. Why don’t dogs need a GPS? They always find their way back to the “bark.”
32. What do you call a dog with a fever? A “hot dog”!
33. Why did the dog bring toilet paper to the party? He was a “party pooper.”
34. What kind of dog loves taking baths? A washpoo!
35. Why did the dog carry an umbrella? He wanted to be a “raindog.”
36. What do you call a dog that digs in the sand? A “barkaeologist.”
37. What did one flea say to the other after leaving the dog? “Should we walk or take the dog?”
38. What do you call a large dog that meditates? Aware-wolf!
39. What did the hungry Dachshund say? “I’m long on hunger but short on food.”
40. Why don’t dogs use phones? Because they have their own “pup-to-pup” network.
41. Why do dogs make terrible dancers? They have two left feet!
42. What’s a dog’s favorite car? A “Furrari.”
43. What’s a dog’s favorite hobby? “Barking” on crafts.
44. Why do dogs always know how you feel? They’re great at reading “pooch” language.
45. What do you call a dog who can do tricks with his tail? A “wagician.”
46. What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? A “collie-wobble.”
47. Why did the dog keep checking the oven? He was waiting for his “barkscotti” to bake.
48. What’s a dog’s favorite vegetable? “Bark-oli.”
49. What do you call a sleeping dog? A “bull-dozier.”
50. Why do dogs wag their tails? Because the rest of them is too heavy!
51. What do you call a dog that can sing? A “rock-wilder.”
52. Why was the dog a great musician? He had perfect “pitch.”
53. What do you call a dog with surround sound? A “sub-woofer.”
54. Why did the dog become a banker? He wanted to keep his “barks” safe.
55. What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast? “Pooched eggs.”
56. Why do dogs make terrible storytellers? They only have one “tail.”
57. What do you call a dog on the beach in the summertime? A “hot dog.”
58. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the “barking” lot.
59. What’s a dog’s favorite part of the house? The “roof.”
60. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? “Ruff!”
61. Why did the dog wear white sneakers? He wanted to be a “bark-and-roll” star.
62. What’s a dog’s favorite science subject? “Chemis-tree.”
63. What do you call a canine comedian? A “stand-up pup.”
64. What’s a dog’s favorite game at the carnival? Whack-a-mole – he’s great at “barking.”
65. What do you call a dog that’s left outside in the winter? A “chili dog.”
66. How do dog catchers get paid? By the “pound.”
67. Why did the dog bring a backpack? He wanted to go on a “barking” adventure.
68. What do you call a dog with a Rolex? A “watch dog.”
69. What’s a dog’s favorite musical note? The “bark-clef.”
70. What do you call a dog that paints masterpieces? “Pablo Pooch-asso.”
71. Why don’t dogs ever get lost? They always “nose” their way back.
72. What’s a dog’s favorite color? “Bark” brown.
73. What do you call a dog in the winter? A “chill hound.”
74. Why did the dog stand in the shade? He didn’t want to become a “puddle.”
75. What do you get if you cross a dog with a computer? Lots of “bytes.”
76. What do you call a dog that makes you laugh? A “comedi-canine.”
77. Why did the dog refuse to play cards? He was afraid of the “cat flush.”
78. Why don’t dogs like shopping online? They prefer to “paws-on” shop.
79. Why was the dog good at basketball? He had a great “bark-hand” shot.
80. What do you call a dog who loves car rides? An “auto-mutt.”
81. Why do dogs never seem to age? They have “pup-tual” youth.
82. Why did the dog become a gardener? He wanted to “dig” his job.
83. What do you call a dog who writes poetry? “Bark Twain.”
84. What’s a dog’s favorite button on the remote? “Paws.”
85. Why did the dog join the music band? Because he had “barktiming.”
86. What’s a dog’s favorite type of literature? “Bark-tion” novels.
87. What do you call a four-legged detective dog? “Sherlock Bones.”
Conclusion
These silly jokes about dogs prove that humor and man’s best friend are a match made in comedy heaven. Whether you’re a dog owner or simply a lover of all things canine, these jokes will bring a smile to your face and brighten your day. Share them with friends and family, or just enjoy a good laugh by yourself.
Keen to enjoy some more dog humour? Check out this video by animal lover Ricky Gervais and Comedians on Dogs.
Amanda O’Brien is the owner of The Dog Snobs website. She is dog mad and dog aunt to Clover in London and Poppy in Sydney. She can’t wait to have a schedule that allows her to have a dog of her own (for now it is two Siberian cats) and loves learning about dog breeds and dog behavior.