Don’t Be The Bitch in Apartment 2B: A Guide to Not Being An Asshole (by BusyBee)

14 Apr

For those of us who live in apartment complexes, we know that the etiquette for having dogs in a “vertical” community is a lot more complicated than living in a single family home.   Complicated, however, does not mean that you get a pass on you or your dog being an asshole.   So here are a few tips I’ve come up with after years of living in apartments with dogs (plus a silly thing called common sense):

1.Dogs bark.  That’s cool.  Some dogs bark more than others.  That’s…still cool.  But letting your dog bark all day?  Not cool.  Whether your dog is barking because of separation anxiety, because he sees moving shit outside of the window, or just likes to hear his own high pitch voice, please at least make an attempt to do something about it. We get that remedying some of these things takes time and patience,  but that doesn’t mean you should give up and just let your dog “bark it out” when you share 4 walls…and a floor…and a ceiling…and a courtyard…with your neighbors.   There are actual training protocols (gasp…shit you can do to make it better?) and techniques that will help.  Getting to the bottom of why your dog is barking is the first step in finding a solution. And while you are working on quieting your dog, give your neighbors a friendly little warning so they know you aren’t just some obtuse asshole who doesn’t care that Puppy barks from dawn to sunset.  You might even ply your neighbors with wine and cheese (I prefer a nice Gouda) so they are less annoyed when Fluffy flings himself at your door each time you walk by in the hallway.   

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2. If your dog piss and shit in the hallway, clean it up.  It’s not something to leave for the management to deal with in the morning.

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3. Related, while I get that dogs often are about to explode as you run them outside for a walk or potty break, don’t be that asshole who lets your dog do his business right at the threshold of the apartment complex.  No one, not even other dog owners, wants to take a flying leap over a puddle of piss to get outside.  Repeat after me:  Your building’s entrance is not a fire hydrant…

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4. If your building has an elevator, respect boundaries.  Letting your dog go barging into the elevator before anyone has even gotten out is just not terribly rude, but it’s a dog fight waiting to happen.  At the very least, I’m apt to throat punch you for invading my bubble.

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5. Another handy-dandy elevator tip-not everyone wants your dog’s nose up their skirt, in the crotch of their pants, or shoved into your grocery bag.  Keep a short leash on your dog when sharing tight quarters.

6. Short leashes are your friend when inside the complex.  Don’t be that twatwaffle who lets your dog round a corner on his flexi-leash and blindside a neighbor precariously balancing her recycling on her way to the garbage room leading her to land face first in a pile of crushed cans (Not that I know this from experience…. )

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7. Not everyone in your building loves dogs and not every dog in your building loves other dogs.   It’s pretty simple. Keep your dogs on leash in the common areas at all times.

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8.  Finally, know thy dog.  Not all dogs love sharing the tight space of apartment living, but for many people it’s not realistic to move into a single family home.  Therefore, make the best of your situation and set your dog up for success.  Knowing what upsets your dog, what is likely to get them over-excited, and managing it from the front end is a whole helluva lot less work than dealing with pissed off neighbors after the fact.

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**What do you think?  What is the worst experience you’ve had living in apartments with dogs?  Are you glad you don’t have to?  Share below**

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8 Responses to “Don’t Be The Bitch in Apartment 2B: A Guide to Not Being An Asshole (by BusyBee)”

  1. Sue Wessel April 14, 2016 at 2:46 am #

    A lot of this also applies to staying in hotels – something we do a lot and oh the stories of ill-behaved owners I could tell you!

    • Kyle Seagrove April 14, 2016 at 5:50 pm #

      After living with my Rottweiler in a high rise apartment building – I will sign under each word.
      We moved to the house after that and now live in a small two story building – no elevators and five neighbors, which all know me and my (now two) dogs. Yet they are always leashed and I won’t let them anywhere close to people, unless my neighbor asks me to say hello and pet them.

      But when I lived in a high rise… Holy f…
      Just got my rottweiler. He wasn’t exactly very friendly, nor did I trust him then. We are at the elevator. I turned him so he will face the corner and blocked him from anyone coming in. Woman with the kid are with me. As the elevator starts moving, I can hear the following: “Go pet the doggy, but do it from the back so the doggy won’t see you”. To be honest, I’ve lost my shit. Don’t remember what I was yelling, but it wasn’t pretty. BTW, Damien adores kids, and would never bite a child. But seriously???

      Or I’m taking him for a walk. I lived on the 10th floor. The elevator stops on the 8th. I’m in the corner, he’s on a very short leash and turned away from the door. The woman sees him and starts yelling at me that she’s scared of dogs. I said: “Fine. Have a good day”. She went ape shit crazy, screaming that I have to (!!!!) get out of the elevator and let her take it down… WTF????

      Or the lady on my floor that had an immensely aggressive Airedale, that she couldn’t handle, and on numerous occasions he came bolting at Damien with her yelling at me that I should control my dog (WTF???!!!?).

      With two dogs now, reaching 400lbs together, I could never live in a high rise. They lived in a house for a long time, and now I can’t leave the balcony open if I’m not home, because they will guard the house and bark at everyone who passes on the street. And it ain’t pretty, as I could hear my Boerboel three blocks away if he was outside and someone passed by my gate.

      Bottom line – love your articles…

  2. leenieo April 14, 2016 at 5:21 am #

    I second the on leash one! Almost everyday someone will ask me if my dog is unfriendly because I keep her on leash and I want to shake them until their teeth fall out.

    • Autiger April 14, 2016 at 5:59 am #

      You should respond with, ‘no, I’m just responsible and also think of other people and their needs.’ 🙂

  3. 25castleson25clouds (@25cson25cs) April 14, 2016 at 2:35 pm #

    I am starting to think there should be some sort of test people take before they get a dog and if they are too stupid they should not be allowed one!

  4. Kyle Seagrove April 14, 2016 at 6:29 pm #

    After living with my Rottweiler in a high rise apartment building – I will sign under each word.
    We moved to the house after that and now live in a small two story building – no elevators and five neighbors, which all know me and my (now two) dogs. Yet they are always leashed and I won’t let them anywhere close to people, unless my neighbor asks me to say hello and pet them.

    But when I lived in a high rise… Holy f…
    Just got my rottweiler. He wasn’t exactly very friendly, nor did I trust him then. We are at the elevator. I turned him so he will face the corner and blocked him from anyone coming in. Woman with the kid are with me. As the elevator starts moving, I can hear the following: “Go pet the doggy, but do it from the back so the doggy won’t see you”. To be honest, I’ve lost my shit. Don’t remember what I was yelling, but it wasn’t pretty. BTW, Damien adores kids, and would never bite a child. But seriously???

    Or I’m taking him for a walk. I lived on the 10th floor. The elevator stops on the 8th. I’m in the corner, he’s on a very short leash and turned away from the door. The woman sees him and starts yelling at me that she’s scared of dogs. I said: “Fine. Have a good day”. She went ape shit crazy, screaming that I have to (!!!!) get out of the elevator and let her take it down… WTF????

    Or the lady on my floor that had an immensely aggressive Airedale, that she couldn’t handle, and on numerous occasions he came bolting at Damien with her yelling at me that I should control my dog (WTF???!!!?).

    With two dogs now, reaching 400lbs together, I could never live in a high rise. They lived in a house for a long time, and now I can’t leave the balcony open if I’m not home, because they will guard the house and bark at everyone who passes on the street. And it ain’t pretty, as I could hear my Boerboel three blocks away if he was outside and someone passed by my gate.

    Bottom line – love your articles…

  5. Kym April 16, 2016 at 10:57 pm #

    Any chance you’d consider taking the Monica Lewinsky pic out of your post? I just read a Guardian interview with her about her experiences and her efforts to combat internet shaming, and I don’t think she deserves to be the butt of rude jokes anymore.

    • Randi April 18, 2016 at 11:09 am #

      I agree.

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