It all comes back to poop, right?
According to the company behind this lovely toy, “Abandoned at birth, Mr. Poops* could not understand why no one would want him. Alone, in the hot sun, he was left to dry out with no hope of survival. With each passing dog he hoped that he would not be so dried out that no one would recognize him as they sniffed looking to find their own family. Please adopt Mr. Poops and give him the family he deserves.
Enough with the orphan poop sob story. Can we track down the asshole who left Mr. Poops spattered on the sidewalk in the first place? I am sure our vigilante poo crew would love to swing into action.
Also, according to Amazon, Mr. Poops is 10 inches long. Clearly Mr. Poops’ “creator” has been eating shitty dog food. May we suggest a nice grain-free food instead?
So, who wants to welcome Mr. Poops into their home this holiday season? Doesn’t everyone want to see a massive turd** on their family room floor or dangling from Fluffy’s mouth?
*yes, they named him Mr. Poops. We would like to think his first name is Seymour.
**pretty sure this is the same pattern used to create the classic toy “Shermy the Spermy”. Ok fine, we just made that up. That toy doesn’t exist…yet.