We aren’t here to judge if you supersize your meal, or order a Happy Meal because you’re broke and you like apples and chicken nuggets make great training treats… wait. That was a tangent. Moving on. Our point was that we really need you to stop custom sizing your dogs. And by ‘you’ we mean shitty breeders. And by custom sizing, we’re thinking of your tea cup Saint Bernards and your Royal Standard Poodles.
They say size doesn’t matter (that’s what she said), but apparently to many people it does. What’s more special than a Malamute? A Giant Malamute. More precocious than a Lab? A Miniature Lab. From Pocket Beagles to Miniature Rottweilers, they’re pretty much making it all nowadays.
Among her vices, BusyBee counts an obsession (mostly so I can snark…I swear) with celebrity gossip. So naturally she was among the first to see that Paris Hilton recently bought herself a micro-teacup Pomeranian. Not just any micro-teacup Pomeranian, mind you, but the WORLD’S SMALLEST micro-teacup Pomeranian. In case you’re sitting here thinking “Oooh, I need one”, let me take a second to give you some solid life advice: If you find yourself doing the same thing as Paris Hilton, it’s time to rethink your life choices.
I, Potnoodle, have standard poodles. I get the appeal of a dog breed that comes in multiple sizes but so often they’re bred by the shittiest of breeders. While visiting Fang in another state that is not the state I live in, I always drive past the Miniature Dalmatians sign. Do you know any responsible breeders that thinks a billboard on a major highway is a good idea? Can you imagine how many families going on vacation are lured in by the idea of a pocket sized version of that one dog from those movies? Because I can, and it keeps me up at night.
The real question we have for you, gentle readers, is why humans are obsessed with the size extremes. You could get either a beautiful and responsibly bred thirteen inch beagle or you could go get a Queen Elizabeth Pocket beagle which will most certainly have shitty knees, probably has Dachshund in the lineage somewhere, and will likely get larger than 13 inches anyway. That’s the thing about the tiny breeds ( and some of the larger ones)… they have something mixed in there to make them tiny. Papillon, Pomeranian, Chihuahua, Demon Bat…. something. Whatever it is, we beg you to step away slowly.