Description: The polar opposite of the “Hounding Hypochondriac”, the “Do I Need a Vet Dunce” rarely, if ever, gets their dog vet care, at least without desperate poking and prodding from friends, family, and internet strangers. The DINAVD is unlikely to recognize a true emergency even if it literally hits them in the face in the form of pus.
Common Locations: NOT at the vet, sitting on the couch eating bonbons while their dog hacks up an internal organ, on Yahoo answers and breed specific Facebook groups asking “How much blood is too much?”
Breeds Owned: Labs, Boxers and other accident prone dogs. Dogs with protruding eyes like Pugs and Bostons.
Skill Level: Skill level definitely follows a bimodal distribution. Many are completely inexperienced and don’t realize what a true emergency is, while others are experienced dog owners who think they can take on any malady themselves even when they shouldn’t.
Catch Phrases: “It’s just a flesh wound”, “He’ll get over it”, “Do you have any aspirin?”
Potnoodle: The person that first comes to mind with this Owner profile is not someone I know in my every day life, but rather someone I once saw in an American Bully group I joined, not because I am a fan of the breed but more because I have an anthropological interest in people that measure their dog’s toughness by how large his head is. Anyway, the DINAVD in this situation was a “breeder” and had a bitch that had recently given birth. The bitch had since prolapsed and the Dumbass was asking if he could “shove it back in and hold it with a stitch” himself and avoid a vet visit. I nearly died. Needless to say, I’m no longer in that group.
BusyBee: Among my other vices (mmm…cheese), I admit to having spent an inordinate amount of time on the “Answers” section of a popular dog-centric website. Despite knowing better, I often find myself stuck in a spiral of stupidity brought on by the slew of DINAVD who routinely post there. Whether it was asking if a broken leg would heal itself, if it was a bad sign that mama dog had started labor 3 days ago and no puppies had been birthed, or how to best pop a Pug’s popped out eye back into it’s socket , the answer is pretty much always the same… GO TO THE DAMN VET. And yet, you’ll see people try to justify NOT going to the vet as hoards of internet strangers are pleading for them to seek professional help. While it’s a good thing to have a working knowledge of canine first aid, it’s even more important that you recognize what is beyond your skill level…and getting off the damn internet to get it taken care of.