Imagine it. Maury, the Dog Snobs edition. We, TDS, are allowed to question a variety of backyard breeders.Imagine the drama, imagine the ratings! It’d be the best episode of Maury not involving a paternity test. You see, we here at TDS are on a mission. With all the dumbassery kicking around it’s about time we get some things answered by the people who’ve annoyed us most these last several months; Backyard Breeders. Any BYBs out there willing to give us an answer? Should we just start emailing these to random breeders?
1) Why did you choose to breed your dog? Don’t give us that bull shit about how much you love the breed and how your kids learned so much. We want to know the real reason.
2) What made you think it was a good idea to breed a dog without health testing/on pre-lims? Are you too cheap to do proper testing? Too lazy? Or just too dumb? And for those of you that know what health testing is and choose not to do it, what makes you think you know more about PRA/Hip Dysplasia/ Patellas than any number of vets. We see that website page you’ve written based on pseudoscience, and we don’t believe you have magic x-ray eyes.
3) Have you actually done any research (Google doesn’t count) on breeding, whelping, and raising puppies? Or is this just something you plan on making up as you go along and pleading for help on yahoo answers at 3 am when something inevitably goes wrong?
4) No but seriously, why’s there so much Jesus involved in your dog breeding? Did god come to you at night and say “Here’s a get rich quick scheme, breed malti-poos”. We’re no experts on Jesus here at The Dog Snobs, but we’re pretty sure he frowns on being an idiot.
5) Do you actually care who your puppies end up with, or is anyone with a PayPal account and a dream good enough?
6) Quick quiz and you’re not allowed to google… Do you know what a CHIC number is? OFA? The meaning of Clear, carrier, affected?
7) Do you even like dogs? Serious question.We know you like the MONEY you make from dogs but like… what about the actual dogs? If you do, why aren’t you out like… doing something with them?
8) Are you stuck in 1994? Seriously, the autoplay music and the butterfly cursor may appeal to your dumbass taste but it looks like a 12 year old girl built it on angel fire in 2003. You’re making bank, hire a web designer.
9) There are decent dogs a few generations back in your pedigrees, how the hell did you get them? What happened that rushed you so rapidly downhill? (Not always applicable)
10) We’re guessing you don’t refer to yourself as a backyard breeder, so what do you call yourself?
Alright minions, any questions to add? Want to start emailing this blog link you your favorite BYBs? (We’re joking about that. Sort of.)