Yahoo Answers….we can’t quit you

1 Apr

We should know better than to read Yahoo answers.  No good can ever come of it.  We lose brain cells.  We yell at our computer screens.  We stress eat.  And yet, we can’t look away.  So here, once again, are our responses to some recent Yahoo answers questions we came across.  The stupid…it hurts.

 

 


It depends.  Is it whole wheat?  Organic?  The future is actually in gluten-free, so you might want to look into how to bread those too.   And we prefer our dogs living, so we aren’t really sure if you could profit off of non-living ones.

 

 

Because giving a puppy as a gift is ALWAYS a good idea.   No really, just don’t do it.  People like surprises, but living breathing surprises are generally a bad idea.   Maybe save the big red ribbon for a pet rock or a nice bottle of wine.

 

 

Step 1:  Take picture of dog.

Step 2: Print out. Preferably in color.

Step 3:  Tape on Alpo can.

You’re welcome.

 

 

Um, what?  Go home Yahoo answer poster, you’re drunk.

 

 


Ok, hold up.  Isn’t this something you should, you know, talk to your “breeder” about.  Why on earth are you asking strangers on the internet?  Let us guess…you purchased this dog from a website with a paypal button and an online shopping cart feature.

 

You’re new to this?  Noooo.  We never would have guessed.  Seriously.  If you don’t know how to do that, how are you going to deal with whelping?  This is a disaster waiting to happen.  Call a vet.  Now.

 

 



Is he staring at your vayjayjay or is he just following you into a room because he wants to be near you?  This is an important distinction.  Really though, it’s not that weird that your dog wants to be near you.  You could always close the door though if you’re concerned.  It’s as easy as 1…2…shut the damn door! The more important question to ask is whether you like that your dog seems to like to watch you pee?  There’s a dark corner on the internet for that stuff, and it certainly isn’t here.

 

 

We know what your dog is thinking: “Why is my owner such a dumbass?  What did I do to deserve this?  Shall I shit in her shoe now or later?”

 

**Missed our previous answers?  Want to relive the snark?  Check them out here  and here **

 

 

 

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4 Responses to “Yahoo Answers….we can’t quit you”

  1. bgszap2 April 1, 2014 at 2:08 am #

    WOW! And these people vote and reproduce. No wonder we’re in trouble/

  2. Darcy April 1, 2014 at 10:55 am #

    Love you, dog snobs! If even one idiot reads and understands what a dumbass he or she is being you will have done good in this world!

  3. Kitten April 1, 2014 at 12:51 pm #

    Isn’t it spelled “VA-JAY-JAY?” if you are going to offer a technical answer, you are obligated to spell the terms correctly

  4. 25castleson25clouds April 2, 2014 at 7:52 am #

    ha ha brilliant!! I so need to spend more time on this – I see a new passion! God that’s sad!

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