We recently posted a list of things we wished dog owners would stop doing. If you thought that was an exhaustive list then you don’t know us very well. Here are 10 more things we continue to judge you for.
1. Stop pretending like you know it all.
Newsflash. It’s totally ok to not know something. If you don’t know, ask. Or just stay silent. But please don’t continue to incorrectly interject yourself into dog-related conversations, internet forums, and groups. Chances are good that someone will actually know what they are talking about, which will just make you look like an even bigger idiot than you probably already are.
2. Being that person who never has poop bags
We get it. We’ve all been there. That panic-stricken moment when you reach into your pocket and realize you are fresh out of poop bags. It happens. But it shouldn’t happen every day. It’s not that hard to keep one in your jacket or, we dunno, invest in those new-fangled poop bag leash attachments. If you’re that person that finds themselves asking random strangers for extra poop bags every day, you’re doing it wrong. And we judge you.
3. Saying you adopted your dog when you didn’t.
If you got your dog from a breeder, you bought it. And that’s perfectly fine. Did it come from craigslist? Did you “rescue” it from a shitty breeder by paying for it? If so, you didn’t adopt your dog. Stop using that.
4. Claiming your shelter dog is a rare breed.
Yeah, so the chances of your shelter dog being a PBGV mix….pretty slim. And the chances of it it being a Chinook? Even slimmer. Do you really think there are rogue Vallhunds roaming around bumfuck impregnating every bitch in sight? It’s perfectly ok to not know what your dog is. Hell, it’s half the fun of having a mutt. It doesn’t make you seem fancy when you label your dog a rare breed or mix thereof. It just makes you look silly.
5. Doing the bare minimum health testing
OK shitty breeders. The public is on to you. They read in this one article online that dogs should be health tested. Maybe some of the smarter ones even have letters floating around in their head (CFA? No… that’s the crazy cat ladies. FFA? No, that’s those nice kids that sold me the wooden bench. What WERE those letters?) So, what do you do? Put “Vet Tested Parents” on your craigslist ad or even just having the hips OFA’d and not doing any other health tests. Buzzwords, they don’t just work for advertising health food.
6. Letting your dog get fat in the winter
There is no such thing as “winter” weight for dogs. It’s not like they can hibernate all winter in chunky wool sweaters and no one will notice they’ve gained a few (or 15) pounds. We know that in parts of the country the weather gets pretty nasty in the winter. That’s fine. There are plenty of things you can do with your dog inside to keep their exercise levels up. Or maybe you could just feed it less if you know exercise will be lower. Dogs shouldn’t be yo-yo dieting, and frankly, from what we’ve seen, letting your dog get fat in the winter is just a stop on the way to having an obese dog in the spring.
7. Using “Ewe” instead of “You” in your herding dog’s name.
We get it, puns are funny. “Ewe” can stop now. (OK, not as big of a no-no as the others but that stopped being funny 300 AKC names ago.)
8. Talking in “puppy speak”
Pwease stwap tawking wike a widdle puppay, otay? Gag. Is that really how you imagine your dog talking? For real? Why would you wish a speech impediment on your dog? In addition to just plain being annoying, it really is hard to understand and can be down-right headache inducing. If you’re going to give your dog an accent, at least go with Australian, ok mates?
9. Asking for serious medical advice on the internet.
Seriously. Step away from the keyboard and get to a vet. Now. There is a about a 0.0007% chance that the guy answering your Yahoo Answers post is an actual Vet and like a 94% chance he’s a loser that lives in his mom’s basement and knows how to google. (Thinking that doesn’t quite add up to 100%? Good. We leave the rest to your imagination.) Do you want a degenerate that knows how to google to give you medical advice? No? Didn’t think so. Go to the vet.
10. Treating training class as dog play time.
Did your trainer specifically advertise the class as socialization time? No? Then stop treating it like that. While it might be all fun and games for you, some people are there to actually train their dogs and they don’t need yours lunging at the end of the leash trying to “play”, especially if it is a class for people that intend to compete
*Agree? Disagree? Just want to complain? Go for it!*