We seem to have a cultural preponderance towards exaggeration. We get it. Heck, we love it and use it, but some forms of exaggerations just make you look like a dumbass. One of the most irritating and prevalent forms is the tendency for certain types of
dumbasses owners to believe with utmost certainty that their dog’s enormous girth is something to be proud of.
And why exactly do these people feel the need to brag about their 200 pound dog? It’s not a pissing contest. If anything it shows that either your dog is WAY above standard or morbidly obese, neither of which seem particularly appealing to us.
Freak accidents happen. Some dogs will go well above standard in many breeds, but this is not something a good breeder is hoping for. The “Warlock” Dobermans, “Royal” Standard Poodles, “King” Shepherds, among others are each examples of the terrible things disreputable people will do to sell puppies to people who don’t know better. That inkling you have of the “King Shepherd” probably being a badly bred Malamute mix is likely dead-on and there is no hope in trying to convince them otherwise.
The reverse of course, is in the purse-dog phenomenon with “Teacup”, “Imperial”, “Micro-Mini Super Tiny Tinkle Tees” or whatever the hell they’re called now. Purchasers of these miller monstrosities are generally extremely defensive over their purchase (Which is commonly defended via yelling purchase prices at people who really don’t care. At least Kanye had himself painted as Jesus on a ceiling.That’s the kind of ridiculous expenditure we can get behind.).
The second group is probably among the most delusional in all of dogdom. Their dogs are 200lbs of “pure muscle”, even as you watch their rolls jiggle and shake as the dog struggles to eke out a full breath. Their dogs are badass, rough, tough and full-on man-eaters, despite the obvious muscular deficiency, wheezing respiratory function, and panting after short jaunt to their bowl, typically filled with the spoils of Walmart (a.k.a. Beneful) to enhance their toned physique. Despite veterinary advice, dog-people advice, and not-so-common sense, they remain convinced that their dogs are fit and trim, and not the chubby sacks of heart disease and fat we all know them to be.
The third and surprisingly common example is that of the wishful thinker. They know their dog is 90lbs and they’re sure that’s what the vet weighed them at last week. Despite evidence to the contrary, these individuals still routinely tell individuals their dog weighs ‘a buck ten’. Maybe it’s wishful thinking or maybe it’s way to compensate for other….shortcomings.
So really, stop the madness. There is no shame in owning a 70 pound dog. Or a 50 pound dog. Or a truly lean, mean creature. Fit is good! But we will judge you for insisting that your 90 pound dog weighs 180, or if they actually do weigh 180, or if they weight 90 and are supposed to be 50… There’s just a lot of judgement coming from over here.