We’re sick of it. You know what we mean. The stupid people. The rude people. The rude and stupid people. The rude and ignorant stupid people. So we’re going to make it easy. Rather than attempting to muddle through the idiocy, we’ve made a guide. Consider it our guide to knowing if you’re going to need to make that drink a double.
1) He/She’s just a puppy.
This is the go-to excuse for people who don’t want to bother making boundaries or actually putting effort into their dogs. While we’re probably bordering on that being factual, your nine-month to eighteen month dog is not in fact a puppy anymore. Seemingly thought of as a way to excuse any and all of their dog’s bad behavior, we’re here to let you know, it’s not. If your fourteen month old retriever puppy harasses the other dogs and does not respond to their corrections, blowing it off with “Oh she’s just a puppy” is not a way to make friends. Conversely explaining that your “puppy” jumps up and bites your arms as you show your scars is not a good way to make a case for passing a basic test of control. Puppyhood is a very very short phase; you should enjoy and embrace every puppy behavior that charms and delights you. You do however need to understand that what was “cute” with a puppy, can be exceedingly *not* cute in an adult dog, and downright dangerous in many cases. Love your puppies, but make sure you’re raising an adult dog you can be proud of.
2) He/She is a rescue
All three Dog Snobs have rescue dogs. We understand that sometimes the dog comes to you in a less than ideal condition. We get that it can take time to work through them. However, allowing your rescue to get away with murder and not making any attempt whatsoever to solve the issue at hand? Not cool. Allowing this to go on for years? Really not cool. While rescuing a dog is a great thing, actually working with your rescue dog is even better. Rescuing a dog is not a life-long excuse for his bad behavior nor does it give you an excuse for a life-long pass on responsible dog ownership.
3) He/She doesn’t mean it
Are you actually saying that your dog who is trying to go cobra at the end of your leash is “just joking”? Explaining the reasoning behind this particular sentiment is infuriating. What exactly does he mean? Is snarling and slavering at the end of a leash how he says hello? If that’s what you consider hello, we’re gonna choose to walk away.
4) The other dogs will correct him/her if there’s a problem
People who say this are inevitably the ones who subsequently freak out when a dog does indeed correct theirs. While we do agree that helicopter dog-parenting is not the way to go, nor is letting other dogs go all “Lord of the Flies” on your dog. What starts as an appropriate correction can quickly escalate, especially if the dog on the receiving end is lacking in dog social skills. Instead of letting the dogs battle it out, it’s your job as an owner to intercede if necessary. Your dogs shouldn’t have to figure out everything on their own. Part of being a responsible dog owner is knowing what kind of behavior is appropriate and what isn’t and making sure that your dog isn’t consistently pushing other dogs to the edge.
5) My Dog is Friendly
Please don’t make us say this again. It makes us get all riled up. Read our thoughts on this asinine phrase here.
So, the moral of the story? If someone opens their mouth and some of these phrases come spewing out, there’s a good chance you’re talking to a moron. Walk away, and quickly. We hear idiot can be contagious.