Back by popular demand, we add to the list of what dog sports must look like to outsiders.
A drag show for dogs. Suspect duct-tape is involved. Still allows for an alarming amount of hairspray. Absence of awkwardly framed balls in every picture disconcerting.
Solo Square Dancing. Bonus points for an ability to sew massive amounts of sequins on to matching dog/human outfits. High degree of unfounded interest in Billy Ray Cyrus.
Dogs literally bringing home the bacon. Massive amounts of camo make us suspect this might not actually be a real sport and instead a hobby for the weekends there is no Nascar.
People with Balto fantasies and no actual desire to be cold. Possibly insane since they are willing to ride on a cart at high speed at the whim of spitzes.
Human follows road signs to get from point a to point b in the most indirect route possible. Dog looks on baffled but will assist owner in chasing their own tail. Inexplicably accompanied by lots of clapping and kissing noises.
Not sure if either owner or dog knows the thing flying around is a bag. Needs further study.
Dog gymnastics. College kids that never quite got over being picked last for ultimate frisbee.
Flying weiners. Sorry, can’t get farther than snickering about weiners.
Small dogs dashing around over pipes, inside construction fencing while wearing brightly colored vests. Possibly Dog-centric Mario LARP-ing.
For people that REALLY wanted a pony as a child, but didn’t actually live with Daddy Warbucks. Not sure why they didn’t acquire a pony as an adult. Suspect it’s due to cost of poop bags.
Some guy just got hit with a dog and then he rode a bicycle. It’s all very Dutch.
Yeah it really is that ridiculous.
Also involves a bike and a disconcerting lack of concern for personal well-being. Once again suspect the Dutch/Dutch Courage.
What the hell? Didn’t we just see this? Oh, skis. Is -joring German for put your life in your dog’s paws?
This is ridiculous. Use your own two feet already!
Oh…. Ha. Ha. “Own two feet”. I’m pretty sure they already had a name for this e.g. Train your damn dog not to pull you over.