While many of us are either involved in, or familiar with, the wide array of dog sports that exist, we must remember that the vast majority of people have no idea that the dog world extends past what they see on TV every Thanksgiving. Below we outline what we imagine various dog sports must look like to the outside (i.e. non-dog fanatical world).
Angry people shouting in German while a large dog bites the Michelin Man’s ethnic cousin.
Dog plays on colorful construction equipment while a woman in Lululemon pants and Vibram shoes runs around yelling strange words like “scramble!” and “table!”
Frumpy person struts around with dog staring at them adoringly.
Lazy people yell at dog to fetch ball over and over and over without actually having to throw the ball.
Why use your arms at all?
Dog sniffs boxes. Unfortunately, no actual drugs to be found.
Owner is desperate to move cement blocks ten feet. Not willing to rent a front end loader.
Frumpy office managers parade at a synergy convention.
Loud indecisive gym teachers yelling at Labradors to recreate a Disney documentary.
Border collies moving sheep into pens and laser light shows.
Simplistic, but not inaccurate.
Herding for the avid-indoorsman.
A Nature Hike without the nature.
Something with a duck in a box and the blind. The duck may or may not be dead but you can’t know until you open the box which still won’t help because you’re blind.
People actively encourage their dogs to fix a rat infestation. Must be too cheap to hire exterminators.
Made by the people who hold Earthdog trials and collect money for free rodent control. Geniuses.
Did we offend you?
Tell us about it in the comments! Offended that we didn’t offend your sport? Tell us about that too!