Stupid Questions DO exist.

20 Apr

One of the things that makes us the most rage-filled here at The Dog Snobs are some of the inane questions that we are repeatedly asked about our own dogs.   These questions range from remarkably stupid to downright offensive.  In this entry, each of us will share our least favorite questions we get asked on a regular basis.

 

 

BusyBee:

 

Given the amount of time I spend out and about with Mr. T, it is no wonder that I get asked a lot of questions.  I consider myself a fairly outgoing person and normally don’t mind talking to strangers (I know, I know….something must be wrong with me), but when the questions are dog-related and markedly stupid, it’s all I can do to remain calm.

 

1.  Given that I own a pitbull mix, I can’t even tell you the number of conversations that I’ve had that go a little something like this….

 

Ignoramus:  Oh wow, is that a pitbull?

Me:  Yes, a mix.

Ignoramus:  Oh wow, did you rescue him from a fighting ring?

Me:  Nope.

Ignoramus:  I read about Michael Vick online.  Is he like one of those dogs?

Me:  Nope.  Definitely not a former fighting dog.

Ignoramus:  Really?

Me:  Seriously.

Ignoramus:  Oh, then, what is that scar on his nose?

Me:  He crashed into a fence while playing.

Ignoramus: Oh, well what about the big scar on his neck?

Me:  Sigh.  That is from when he got attacked by a Golden Retriever.

Ignoramus:  Wow, if he looks like that, I can only imagine what the Golden looked like.

Me:  Actually, Mr. T didn’t fight back at all…

Ignoramus: But he’s a pitbull….

END SCENE

 

Variants of this conversation include asking me if I am scared Mr. T will turn on me suddenly (yes, I live in fear) or asking if I know about their lock-jaws and heads-too-small-for-their-brains (whose brains are too small??).  As much as I try to educate people and be a good ambassador for the breed, people who don’t actually want to listen and instead want to prove how much they know about pitbulls (because everything you read online is true) just infuriate me to no end.   I’m pretty sure these are the same people who spout political rhetoric word-for-word after hearing a pundit say it on TV.   It’s all I can do to stop myself from kicking these people in the babymaker and running away.

 

Mr. T: 0 Fence:1

2.  “Awww, she’s so cute!”

Um, yeah.  Mr. T has a penis.  I know it is small, but it is there.  I swear*.   I won’t go more into now this since Potnoodle thinks I should devote an entire blog entry about my feelings on this subject, but seriously people, if you squint and tilt your head at at 38 degree angle, you can clearly see he is a male.

 

*It’s laughably tiny. It’s like a little innie belly button.

 

Spot the not junk

3.  “What kind of dog is that?  Let me guess…Rottweiler?  No….Poodle?  Oh, he’s definitely a Boxer.  Wait…I got it!  Jack Russell?”

While Mr. T’s origins are mostly unknown (clearly there is some pittie in there), some of the breeds people guess for him are downright laughable.  I’ve gotten Rottweiler more times than I can count, and given Mr. T is solid white, I am fairly certain these individuals don’t actually know what a Rottweiler actually looks like.   I also once had a person *insist* that there was such a breed as a Giant Jack Russell (you know, like a Giant Schnauzer).  I’ve found that other people are much more eager to label Mr. T than I am. I’m going to start calling him an “Russo-American Smooth Speckled Terrier” and see what people say.

The closest Mr. T will ever get to being a poodle.

Potnoodle:

I love to take my dogs in public. They like to get out, I enjoy being around them. It’s win/win. Then you add in the general public… I hate questions. I don’t like to interact with people I don’t know. When the people I don’t know are asking stupid questions I don’t even know how to respond. Some examples;

 

1. “How much did that dog cost? That dog looks real expensive!”

I have poodles. Not the ratty little kind your grandmother used to carry around but actual real Standard Poodles. They are generally well groomed and they just look fancy, to be honest. Still, that does NOT give anyone the right to ask me how much I paid for them. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than someone asking how much I paid for my dogs. Usually I laugh it off but I’m always more tempted to ask them what they make in a year or how much their pants cost. It’s tacky, people, stop doing that.

“I was pretty cheap but you might as well feed me money for all the shit I’m going to destroy.”

2.” Is that really a poodle? I’ve never seen one that size. “

No,  I just told you that for shits and giggles. This is actually a giant fuzzy muppethund. Very rare. Yes, asshat, it is a poodle. Your runny nosed four year old has been screaming poodle since she saw us across the park. Does IQ go down as you age or is she just the genius of the family?

Pictured: The Extra Giant version of the Giant Fuzzy Muppethund

3. “Is that a ____doodle?” or “Look Muffy, it’s your cousin!”

I get this from doodle owners a lot and NOTHING pisses me off like my dogs being compared to doodles. I have a deep, deep loathing in my soul for purposefully bastardized dogs, I should probably talk to my therapist about it because there are a lot of rage issues there. This is the one question that will get a less than civil answer from me. Usually, I respond with “No, they are purebred Standard Poodles. Your dog is a mutt.” I’m a bitch about it and I have no shame. I love mixed breed dogs. I grew up and started training with an australian cattle dog- border collie mix. So-called “designer dogs” are a whole other story. I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.

I tried to find a picture but I was pushed in to a rage.

*What annoying questions do you get about your own dogs? Share below!*

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71 Responses to “Stupid Questions DO exist.”

  1. Prairie April 20, 2013 at 4:41 am #

    Shiba Inu owners are notorious for getting all hinky and pissed off about getting asked “Is that a FOX?” over and over again, but I don’t mind it at all. I get to see people wearing their “Is that a UNICORN?” face, and that’s actually a pretty awesome thing to get to see. My favorite, favorite thing was watching two little boys at a dog park (around 10 or so) debating the question. People like marvels, they enjoy the idea of something like a hand-raised fox, they get almost childlike and smile and their eyes get all big, and they’re ready to believe, they WANT to believe in something that produces wonderment. I like that Kit gives people that moment. So hating that question is pretty much like hating Santa Claus and Tinkerbell. No scrooge! I almost hate to burst their bubble by telling them she’s a dog. Then they tell me well gee, she sure LOOKS like a fox, and I say that I think she looks like a living version of a cartoon fox for sure, but that actual foxes can be a little creepy in the face, and then sometimes the conversation veers off into racoons, which people often find creepy instead of cute as well, etc. etc. etc.

    • Misho April 20, 2013 at 1:45 pm #

      My Shiba Inu is Black and Tan, so I don’t get, “Is that a fox?” I get, “Honey, I think it’s a wolf. Don’t touch it!” Sometimes, a brave soul is not sure if she is a dog or a wolf. With a slight bit of fear, they ask, “Is your…..dog….friendly?” I usually tell them, “This is a rescue wolf. I have to feed her raw meat so she’s likely to rip your hand off. You can go ahead and try it, though. She needs socialization.” 🙂

      • Prairie April 20, 2013 at 10:10 pm #

        Awww, how could anyone look at a shibaface and think anything but sweet thoughts were in there?At least you get to tell people you have a rescue wolf, I think that’s a fun answer. 🙂

  2. Prairie April 20, 2013 at 4:47 am #

    P.S. Mr. T might have a squosh of pittie in him, but he sure looks like he’s mostly pointer to me. I’m surprised people step to you and even ask if he’s a pittie, he’s so tall and leggy and his coloring is shmooper pointerriffic.

    • TheDogSnobs April 20, 2013 at 4:51 am #

      BusyBee here–I agree that he doesn’t have the traditional pittie body at all. But his head…oh his head….maybe the pictures don’t do it justice, but he has one big honking block-head. Pointer is a guess we get quite often and one I could actually get on board with 🙂

      • Dr. L. May 11, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

        Definitely a pointer / pittie mix! 😀

  3. Laura Anne April 20, 2013 at 2:29 pm #

    I love the “How much did you pay?” question. Here is my answer, so far.

    Winston was free from the shelter last year. Within 45 minutes, I had paid 50 bucks for tick medication to rid his body of dozens of them while waiting at the vet clinic up the road for the rabies shot($17) that the previous owner had told the shelter he had never taken his dogs for. Followup vaccinations, vet well check visits, worming and microchip were about $600. Neutering and hip X rays about $300. Collar, leash and various harnesses came to about $100. Extra large crate that I can’t lift bought from Craig’s list: $60. Surgery this week to remove the unexplained, but questionable, hygroma on his front carpal $970. Found out this AM that it, thank god, is benign.
    Training classes for Winston to help him understand how to act around dogs and people without continuing to be an idiot and dragging me across two counties over the past year since I have had him, as well as intro to agility classes, $700( I take my dogs to a lot of classes if the classes are good. Classes keep me on the straight and narrow regarding training my dogs) Food for two dogs, $480, not counting additional fresh food, treats, etc. Actually neither dog eats much, so I get a break on this even though we feed a very expensive food.

    My free dog has cost me $3277 dollars, and this week is the first year anniversary of getting the free dog.

    The last person who asked me this, including how much was the recent surgery, replied, “That is why we will never get a dog. Too many bills.” I asked, don’t you have bills for your cats? “Oh, no. We take them to the free clinic for rabies shots.” What if they get injured or sick? “We don’t do anything. There are way too many cats looking for a good home”

    • RebeccaW April 25, 2013 at 6:52 am #

      those people are what make me sick… so just because its a cat its not worth the decency of being cared for? makes me want to throw something at them…. okay little rant done…

      • Susie April 26, 2013 at 2:34 pm #

        Wonder what they do when their kids get sick. There’s lots of orphans out there, too.

    • pommom101690 July 11, 2014 at 8:38 pm #

      I see that all too often with cats. I have a foster cat that hasn’t had any interest because his adoption fee is $80. What they don’t understand is that his neuter alone was $75. He had to have three sets of booster shots ($66), a combo test($40), two FelV vaccinations($44), a microchip ($35), as well as one emergency vet visit when he hurt his leg ($300).

      I understand that $80 is totally reasonable because I fully vet all my pets, cats included. I know that there is more than $80 in him.

      Most people just don’t vet their cats as well 😦

  4. Christine Vezina April 20, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

    I too have noticed that IQ (or at least worldly awareness) drops with age. Children always, always, ALWAYS know I have Huskies. Always. Adults always have to ask, even if their children are racing over to ask to greet my girls, yelling “JUST LIKE SNOWDOGS!” all the way.

    Then of course there are the ignorant wolf aficionados. It’s not my fault you feel so stupid for being afraid of my dogs that you need to convince yourself they’re wild animals to justify your terror. I can assure you that they are not, and no, you do not know better than me. And tell your equally stupid, super-macho buddy they are not available for breeding because I don’t want to dignify those questions with any sort of attention.

    • Prairie April 20, 2013 at 10:24 pm #

      But do the children know about Malamutes, Akitas, Tamaskans, Elkhounds, or Samoyeds? The adults who ask before assuming might know that there are breeds that resemble the husky but aren’t huskies. 🙂

      • Christine Vezina April 21, 2013 at 12:48 am #

        No one who does know those breeds has ever been confused. If they’ve only met one of the similar breeds, it shows in their phrasing. “What kind of dog is that? My uncle had an Akita who looked sorta like him.” They see the similarities but also the differences. And I’ll grant people some confusion over Fox – There are not many Huskies around, let alone red ones, let alone red ones so light they’re more burnt orange with golden highlights. Ember is unmistakably Sibe.

  5. Myndi Brunty April 20, 2013 at 4:06 pm #

    I have a Siberian husky. She’s sable, with two blue eyes, and she’s actually the proper size for a husky. This means that I always get the “omg, you have a pet wolf/coyote!! run away!!” response. If people have enough brain cells to realize that she isn’t a wolf, they usually think that she can’t possibly be a husky because she’s not black and white and doesn’t have the traditional markings that you see in the movies. And apparently she’s blind because blue eyes are bad.

    One of my pet peeves with huskies is their size. Kinda like Potnoodle’s doodle rant, I hate seeing the monster super-sized huskies that crappy breeders are churning out. My girl is the perfect size, but people are constantly asking if she’s a “mini husky,” or when will she reach her full size, or why she’s so skinny/small compared to their 100lb monster. I just wanna smack them with a rolled up newspaper.

    • RebeccaW April 25, 2013 at 6:56 am #

      oh oh oh a good one for potnoodle to do!! “mini” of a breed!!! like these mini aussies… that are 40+ pounds….

      • Dana May 22, 2013 at 3:21 am #

        There is nothing more annoying than those stupid “teacup” things. Or the latest designer dog that has been pissing me off is a pomeranian/husky… so it looks like a husky pup forever. There is one in my apartment complex and everyone is like “OMG, HE IS SO CUTE!” while I sit there and think, there is no way that dog should exist.

      • pommom101690 July 11, 2014 at 8:42 pm #

        YES!

        I have Pomeranians, and everyone says oh you have regular Poms, We have a teacup. No. No you don’t

  6. Wendy April 21, 2013 at 1:47 am #

    I have long-haired dachshunds. Apparently no one knows they exist. I’ve been asked countless times if they’re crosses. I will then explain that there are actually 3 coat types. One lady actually said to her kids ‘oh look a miniature golden retriever!’ I was so stunned I couldn’t even respond…

    • RebeccaW April 25, 2013 at 6:58 am #

      I LOVE YOU!!!! I have Longhaired dachshunds too!! And of course ones a red, very very light red at that, so i get the miniature golden retriever a LOT!!! and then they try to argue with you!!!!

  7. SuperSavannah April 21, 2013 at 2:27 am #

    I have five Siberians (plus 3 “extras”). All are rescues except one, my retired show dog, and of the rescues, only one is somewhat correct in terms of size and conformation. Guess which ones are “husky mixes” according to pretty much everyone? They also both happen to be reds, so I get a lot of “is that a fox?” with them too (or the red color is a reason they can’t possibly be purebred). By far my favorite so far has been that my bi-eyed girls are Sibe/Malamute mixes, because, you know, they get the blue eye from the Siberian parent and the brown eye from the Mal parent.

    On the subject of questionable mixes–one of my “extras” looks like a Wheaten mix (on steroids, because she’s huge). I’ve taken to referring to her as a “West Cajon Valley Terrier,” (WCV being where her mother was rescued) a very rare breed once commonly used to catch and kill giant rodents…

  8. JT April 21, 2013 at 11:40 am #

    My kelpie has been called a pit bull and a mini rottie aka a ‘rottie bear.’ Oh and an old hippie once screamed ‘WOLF!’ when he saw us and fell off his bike. FML.

    • dxxdog April 25, 2013 at 3:34 am #

      OMD that’s hyserical! Poor you 😦 A kelpie disguised as a pitbull? I’m gobsmacked.

    • Kelsey June 26, 2013 at 3:59 am #

      I was told my rescue Kelpie was a “Rottweiler/shepherd” mix. Having another rescue who actually IS a rottweiler/shepherd mix I tell everyone that I’d pay them money if they could find any Rott in this dog (not to mention…my Kelpie is chocolate colored…). Just because she has tan markings does not automatically make her a Rottweiler or a Doberman. Aussies, Dachshunds, Shibas, Kelpies, Manchesters, Berners, Beaucerons, Gordon Setters, and HOW many other breeds have tan markings in the same places???

    • Kelsey November 17, 2013 at 5:23 am #

      My Kelpie has been called a pit bull, too….wonder what that’s about? Never a wolf though. But we get lots of “what is that an Aussie/border collie mix?” at agility trials…..and I even have one lady say “Oh, I didn’t know they came in that color” when I said she was a kelpie. She’s chocolate (or red) and tan…..pretty basic kelpie markings and I’ve seen lots of chocolate ones!

  9. Anige April 25, 2013 at 6:44 am #

    You want crazy, stupid questions? Try owning a Chinese Crested, they are endless!

  10. Jennifer April 25, 2013 at 8:58 am #

    I have two Great Danes and everytime I take them out I get ask wow is that a little horse? Does it look like a horse people it’s a big dog. That question ia normally followed by Can I ride it? Well sure if u want to get bitten. As I try to make my way from these ignorant people they always ask how much do they eat? I bet they eat u out of house and home. Yes people they do eat however my brothers coon hound out eats them. Can I ask how much u eat?

  11. Marybeth April 25, 2013 at 10:31 am #

    I have a Wheaton colored SCOTTISH terrier, and the sure fire way to get me going is to tell me what a nice Westie I have. A woman sitting with a Westie in her lap told me that he was a cute Westie. I said that he wasn’t a Westie, he was a Scotty. Oh well, I guess if there are black Westies, there can be white scotties. I told her, West Highland White Terriers come in no color except white.

    • krista Gately April 25, 2013 at 2:43 pm #

      Sympathizing….. I have Cairns. No one in the black hole I live in has a clue what they are. We get Westie a lot. I always find it an interesting deduction for someone to arrive at west highland white terrier for a black brindle dog…

  12. brendaforcocoaBrenda April 25, 2013 at 11:34 am #

    I try to be a good ambassador for my breed but it can be hard. I have Black and Tan Coonhounds and everyone wants to know if they are Dobermans. My favorite is “Look, that’s one of those Doberman/Rottweiler mixes!” I always make exceptions for children who are just honestly curious. With children, what you see is what you get, kind of like dogs. But there is no cure for dumb, which is why I prefer the company of my dogs to most people.

  13. Lesley April 25, 2013 at 12:15 pm #

    I have Mastiffs, one brindle one apricot. Constantly I’m asked what kind of dog is that? I say Mastiff and they respond with Oh I love bull mastiffs. No, not a bull a mastiff, just mastiff. Sometimes called English Mastiff but technically they are simply Mastiff. Oh, they say, it’s an English bull mastiff! Really? Are you stupid? I just told you it’s a Mastiff! Then the rest of the questions start… The answers are usually, no you can’t ride him, no I don’t own a saddle, yes he eats a lot, no they don’t fight! Yes, I know your friend, sister, cousin had one and it was way bigger! I was even told once that they used to have a black one, really? They don’t come in black! A friend of mine who owns a brindle mastiff was once asked if she painted her dog that way! Really people? Get a grip!

    • marciathedognanny April 25, 2013 at 1:44 pm #

      I have Dogue De Bordeauxs (aka French Mastiffs), I get the Bull Mastiff thing all the time. How much they eat is also a constant, riding them, etc. As my guys are all therapy dogs for TPOC, when visiting and get the how much and what do they eat, I’ll say “OH about 2-3 Seniors a week” with a big smile.

    • Tamara April 25, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

      lol I know exactly how you feel
      …just let them drool on them, they’ll leave 😉

  14. Laura Anne Welch April 25, 2013 at 1:26 pm #

    All the funny and maddening replies on this thread lead me toI quote the late Ed Koch: “I can explain it to you, but I can’t comprehend it for you.”

  15. Tamara April 25, 2013 at 2:16 pm #

    lol Love the come backs people 🙂 I will have to try some. I have Dogue De Bordeaux (French Mastiff…..I sensed a question 😉 that one is ok) I get the money related questions all the time, I tolerate those and laugh at the ones who comment “How Much??? You’re crazy, after I tell them. I get “it must cost a fortune to feed her”….no less then most labs, about 4 cups a day, less now she’s getting older. My 125lb female has been called a Pittie more times then I can count…..really moron?? ….. That one pisses me off for the simple reason if they don’t know, Don’t think…you’re spreading your ignorance. How can people judge a dog based on what they think they are. I love all “Pitbulls” and know far more nasty JRTs (no offence JRT owners) then the hundreds of pitties I’ve known (former shelter worker). BSL is Stupidity in it’s finest. My response to the “shouldn’t that dog be muzzled, it’s a pitbull” is too censored for type 😉 I love it when I get “is that a Hooch dog??” yes it is….a bull mastiff cross right?…no she’s a Dogue De Bordeaux…..a what?……A French Mastiff…. the argument starts, no IT’S (she is a she, arsehole) a BullMastiff and the one in the movie was a cross, I know because I read it on the internet…….
    She has been called a lab, yes a lab twice! A boxer on steroids….but my most asked question is… Do they Drool? ….not too much but her brother is a waterfall. Then they will usually gross out and comment oh I couldn’t handle that…..good, don’t get a mastiff….it will save you dumping it on rescue/shelters for drooling on you. But the one that really bugs me are the ones that rush me….either good or bad. My girl is timid unless you are a kid, she loves kids and prefers for me to meet them first, she will not approch a fearful person and they are the ones who typically are the Pittie haters and approach with aggression. A few are intimidated by her, this I can understand but don’t tell me you’re not and force yourself to meet her…she’s telling me you are, and YOU are scaring the crap out of her.
    Those are the stupid ones, I’m sure I have more lol I do answer any questions and educate when the person is honestly ignorant, and I usually end up defending the poor “pitbulls”. They walk away hopefully smarter and one less hater. Dogs are 50% breed and 50% training, what they end up like is 100% responsibility of the owner.
    Tamara and Agnes the DDB

    • mathitalladdsup August 1, 2013 at 7:39 am #

      I love you! Thanks for helping increase understanding and end BSL. You are awesome! 🙂

      • Tamara January 4, 2014 at 2:56 pm #

        Thank you! sorry for the very late reply 😦 somehow I missed it. Sadly there is still BSL….

    • Kate January 3, 2014 at 4:54 pm #

      I saw an adorable DDB puppy in the park, and commented to the owner how nice she was. I got a snap back that actually she was a french mastiff and not a DDB, and it was really hard to find a breeder of french mastiffs who didn’t cross them with DDB *face palm*

      • Tamara January 4, 2014 at 2:52 pm #

        lol!!! now that is too funny. Even I haven’t heard that one….which means there is one more idiot with a DDB or was that a french mastiff lol 😉

  16. krista Gately April 25, 2013 at 2:52 pm #

    I have many breeds. Here is a brief compilation of the more “creative” guesses I’ve received on what they are: Bernese Mountain Dog: is that an Australian shepherd?, St. Bernard, that’s a pretty mix. Then there was the one who believed I’d been taken for rather a lot of money for a breed that doesn’t exist as I clearly had a saint mix….really?!?!
    English Bulldog: is that a pit bull? (Are you for real…..)
    French Bulldog: cute pug!
    Boston terrier: cute boxer!!!!…..(yes a very tiny one)
    Cairn terrier: is that a yorkie?/Westie ?….. (Well it’s not stupid tiny and it’s not white.)
    German shepherd: oh my Gosh is that a wolf???!?!!….( yes I’m walking my wolf through town for a giggle, and it’s clearly not a German shepherd dog, one of the most recognizable breeds of dog ever….)

    • Jessica June 14, 2013 at 12:34 am #

      Oh good! Someone else with a bunch of breeds! Let’s see, I always loved when people called my Yellow Lab a “Golden” Lab (shudder). My Bluetick beagle MUST be a mix because they have never seen a Beagle that color before. And don’t even bother asking about my Pyrenean Shepherd! I can understand why no one knows what he is. Although, it does annoy me when people assume he’s a mutt and then look at me funny when I try to explain that it is a rare breed recently accepted by the AKC but with a long history in France. They kind of glaze over and wander off at that point. Unless they are agility people, then they want to know where to get one!

    • Laurie September 19, 2013 at 11:34 pm #

      I constantly get compliments on my Bernese Mountain Dog. Why thank you, he’s an Australian Shepherd.

  17. Rachel April 25, 2013 at 3:27 pm #

    All toy dogs are not female. Yes he is a cute fluffy papillon, and actually almost over sized, but still a boy. If all small dogs were girls, how do they make more?! And yes at 2 years old my mini american is not getting any bigger, dogs do not experience random growth spurts throughout their lives. Most pet std aussies are huge and over sized ie see husky rant! My favorite question though is ” do they (insert breed name) make good pets?” No dumbass, i like torturing myself with owning terrible hard to live with animals. They are dogs, some times they are good sometimes they are naughty. I want to ask if their kid would be a good kid for me, idiots!

  18. Paula Lexington April 25, 2013 at 6:57 pm #

    I have a dalmation. One day I was extremely bored so I took a couple packets of Kool-aide (sans sugar) and a spray bottle and turned her hot pink. On our evening walk later I was dumbfounded by how many times I heard the question, “Oh my god, where do you get pink ones?!?!? I’ve never seen them before?!?!?”. Oh, and I got a 20 minute lecture on dog abuse. >.<

  19. Charlee Helms April 25, 2013 at 9:30 pm #

    Standard Long Hair Dachshund……….”That’s a Cocker Mix”. Um, no. “Oh I didn’t know they came that big”. (I will concede he IS a big Standard, but still!) Or my absolute favorite, “I have one at home that looks JUST like him”. Um, no.

  20. shawnlea April 25, 2013 at 9:36 pm #

    …and I have cocker spaniels. Buff ones. Fairly recognizable I think. Like in Lady and the tramp. It shocks me when people ask what breed they are. And – I have boys. Clearly boys. All cocker spaniels are girls? sigh.

    • Emily April 27, 2013 at 4:05 am #

      If it makes you feel any better, all poodles are also bitches, including my intact dog…

  21. Stacy April 26, 2013 at 12:08 am #

    I have white German Shepherds, so the question I get most offten is “is that a wolf?” after expaining what breed he is. I get the “I didn’t know they come in white” quickly followed by “so he is albino?” This one always iritates me becase my dog has nice dark eyes and a black nose, so oviously not albino. Aparenly the power of simple observation is related to IQ.
    But there was one incident that had me monentarly speachless. I was at a park to train my dog, and as I pull him out of his crate a woman says. “wow, beautiful dog, what kind of German Shepherd is he?” OMG she actually knew his breed! But what kind is he?!?! I looked down at my dog, then at her, back to my dog, then back at her and said “A white one.” I know not my most witty of replies.

    • Tamara January 4, 2014 at 3:00 pm #

      witty or not I’m in tears!!! …a white one,
      that was a perfect answer 😉

  22. Angie April 26, 2013 at 12:31 pm #

    I have rough collies…like Lassie. You would be surprised how many times I get asked “what kind of dog is that?” and when I say “a collie” they say “I hear border collies are really smart…”.

  23. Jody Eckler April 26, 2013 at 4:15 pm #

    I don’t feel quite so bad now having read the above “dumb questions”. But…. We have two whippets. We get lots of comments/questions because no one around here has ever seen a whippet before. Most common are “Oh, look at the baby greyhound”, “Is that a rescue greyhound?”, “Do you race them?”. They are not greyhounds, they are whippets. But I nicely explain the differences. But the one that gets to me is “You aren’t feeding your dogs enough! I’m calling the Humane Society!”. Go ahead. I volunteer there every week. They will laugh at you. The vet assures us they are both the perfect weight. Your dog, on the otherhand, is FAT and you feed him/her too much and don’t exercise him/her enough. (OK, I never actually say the last part but I think it every time!)

    • Kelsi June 23, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

      I also have a whippet. I take her out all the time, and I am ALWAYS correcting people about her being a whippet, not a greyhound.

      I get asked every time I take her out if she’s a rescue, and I usually reply, “No, she’s a show dog…”

      When people see me exercising with her I sometimes get asked indignantly how old she is, as though they think she is a young greyhound and I am hurting her by making her use some energy!

  24. Nicole S. April 28, 2013 at 12:11 am #

    I have an Australian Cattle Dog aka a Blue Heeler. Not a miniature German Shepard. Not a corgi. Not a terrier mix. She is 7 years old. Not an “ol’ fella cause of all the gray on her” and not a puppy. She also was not bred to herd CATS (I am so not joking about that one). And she is not an Australian Shepard but thank you for getting remotely close in name only.

  25. Joanne D. Wolff April 28, 2013 at 7:42 pm #

    Many people have seen MIniature Dachshunds(commonly called Weiner Dogs) I don’t take offense at the nickname…it is usually an endearment. What irks me is when someone that OWNS the breed calls them DASH hounds. I cringe. I know they see me visibly wince everytime they say the word!! Get a grip commoners…DACHS is not pronounced with SHHHHHHHH, which is what I’d like to do to you!

    In another vein, Standard Dachshunds are not too colorful…shades of Red, Black/Tans, Wheaten in Wirehairs…but pretty much Traditional in coloring. And recognizable as a Dachshund. Our Mini’s however, are being bred in a multitude of colors/patterns as well as the traditional ones. The most attractive(IMHO)and the one color that causes the most confusion is the Creams. Still today, though Creams have been widely accepted even in the show community for nigh on a decade…I get people who simply can’t imagine a “weiner dog” in anything but a Red Smooth suit! And a Longhair that looks like a platinum version of an Irish setter? No way. They will argue with you if you INSIST this is,in fact a dachshund…saying it is a young yellow Lab. Yes folks…my dogs with an extra vertabre are mistaken for a rather large and stocky Yellow Lab! When I explain that I KNOW these dogs are dachshunds, as I have bred them,,,and shown them,,,and I know ALLL their ancestors like you know your own relatives…they still walk away saying to each other “she just doesn’t know what she is breeding…they are obviously Labradors”

    • aztmccdc November 17, 2013 at 4:23 am #

      Maybe I missed the joke but Dachshunds don’t have an extra vertebrae.

  26. Dana May 22, 2013 at 3:25 am #

    One of the most annoying questions I get asked constantly is “WHAT MIX IS YOUR DOG?” My dog clearly has some border collie or aussie in her (not sure which) and I met her mom in the shelter who was a basset hound. So I respond with basset mix or some herding dog mix. Then people sit there guessing about her breeds until someone inevitably brings up the wisdom panel test. Because paying $90 to know what breeds my dog is will make me love her, train her, or do anything differently.

  27. Pat June 8, 2013 at 5:19 am #

    I have Australian Shepherds. Clearly I always get the “Is that a Bernese Mountain Dog?” Because, you know, that breed is SO much more common than an Aussie…. Then they see the size and think, “Mini Bernese” which makes me kinda sick to think about. But no, my favorite of all is the, “OMG what did you do with it’s tail?!?” *sigh* Clearly I got bored one day and decided that I wanted to try out my new machete. This is the looks I get of course as I explain that they are either born without them or docked when they are puppies. Because of the horrified stares I have to explain this is done at a few days of birth and they don’t feel the pain. Of course I get the idiots who insist they do, to which my simple response is either to walk away or ask them if they remember being circumcised (if male, and assuming they were of course) or remember their days as a newborn baby. They never seem to want to ask about the natural bob gene though, it is always the machete look and assuming animal abuse.

    • Scarlett Moir August 24, 2013 at 6:38 pm #

      Yup, the “mini” Bernese Mountain Dog is one I get all the time with my Aussie.

    • Laurie September 19, 2013 at 11:39 pm #

      I like to tell them I couldn’t afford the tail.

  28. Julia June 8, 2013 at 4:31 pm #

    We have a Weimaraner and we get all kinds of guesses.. we have been asked if he is a Greyhound (?!? based solely on his colour? That makes sense..), we have gotten Blue Tick Hound (he is not a blue Weim, he is very clearly a light silver grey, where in earth does this guess come from?), and my favourite “Is that one of those silver Labs?” Does he look like a lab? Not really at all. Have you ever seen a lab before? And once we get around to the “No, he’s a Weimaraner.”, there is the inevitable follow up of a Weimaniner? A Wineminer? A Wimenimer? We usually give up.. we should start carrying breed cards and just hand them out!

  29. Virginia Wimmer June 11, 2013 at 3:07 am #

    Ok…guess I have to chime in…I have a Clumber Spaniel….not a Cumberland or a Cucumber Spaniel. No she is not a designer dog (Clumbers were one of the original 9 breeds recognized here in the US when AKC began, and one of the first shown at Westminster)…and she is not an over sized Cocker Spaniel. Yes she was expensive (I chose to spend that amount of money, it was my choice), and well worth it. She sheds (24/7), and can drool, but again, I researched the breed and those qualities do not bother me. …..these are the answers I usually come up with…of them all, the one that irritates me the most is the designer dog…..I can deal with almost all of the others.

  30. Ernest-John June 12, 2013 at 10:52 pm #

    Well, the dumbest (uneducated, unintelligible, non-sensical, irrational, stupid, ignorant, naive, and the list can go on…) question is the seemingly innocent one of, “Why would you ever get a pit bull?”

    The most simple and true answer to this: If they really need to ask this question, they just would not understand even if/when they were told.

    Do note: “dumb” can fit the description of any person regardless of ethnicity, religion, culture, gender, demographic, etc. for ex/ even a so-called animal loving, rich, educated, mature, person has and will ask questions like the one mentioned!?

    • E-J June 12, 2013 at 10:55 pm #

      Side note: insert any dog breed to that question, same response!

  31. Kelsey June 15, 2013 at 1:57 am #

    I have a black German Shepherd and the “omg, look at that wolf!” is the most common stupid thing we get. He’s also been called a Dutch Shepherd (because they’re so much more common than black GSDs), the dog from Resident Evil (looks more like a zombie Doberman to me), chupacabra (turns out they ARE real), miniature German Shepherd (because he’s the correct size for a working GSD rather than hugely oversized), “mean dog” (as he sat calmly next to me), and of course Labrador (because only Labs can be solid black).

    My favorite are the people who try to argue with me on what breed he is.
    “Is that a Lab?”
    “No, he’s a German Shepherd.”
    “But it’s mixed with Lab, right?”
    “No, he’s purebred German Shepherd Dog.”
    “Are you sure? It looks just like a Lab I had.”
    “I highly doubt that.”

    The stupid question that really floored me was at the vet last week. In the waiting area and a lady with her cat kept going on and on about how big my dog was. Then she asks, “What’s he like 110, 120 lbs?” I’m like, “Uhhhh, try 75….”

  32. swamppoodles June 24, 2013 at 6:48 pm #

    I’m in the same boat as Potnoodle. I own standard poodles as well, and the “I didn’t know they made them that big” is what I get. As if they are assembled in some factory in China! The other one I get is “do you ever cut them in that stupid hair cut you see at the dog shows?” As a matter of fact I have. Insulting my dog’s hair and their heritage is NOT the way to win me over. I also ran into a BC-poodle cross. They spent $$$$$ on the dog because “everyone knows BC’s aren’t good with kids”. WTF? Seriously? Thanks for the post!

  33. mathitalladdsup August 1, 2013 at 7:30 am #

    I have an APBT and we are fairly certain she is purepred or close. I have 2 pet peeves when it comes to stupid questions:
    1) Honey has a reversed brindle-brown coat which, apparently, is a rare trait. Random strangers ask me “how much do you want for her?” My canned response is “she’s fixed” and they don’t want her anymore. Seriously, I spent almost a grand on her the first year; about $2000 now (3 years total). I nursed her through ring worm and mange (at the same time), major separation anxiety (due to being flung out of a moving vehicle by her previous owner), tearing off a dew-claw, and trained her to be a good companion so I could sell her to a random stranger. Like I’m going to sell her to some ass-hat so he can make a few thousand dollars off pups so he can send her to a no-pits-get-out-alive shelter when she no longer produces or use her as a bait dog. Fuck off! Then they have the nerve to tell me that I ruined her…. Double fuck off!
    2) “She’s so little.” No, 45 pounds is normal for a pitbull. Those other dogs aren’t pitbulls. Pitbulls are medium sized dogs. Pitbulls are not supposed to be 100 pounds…seriously. And then they ant to argue the point with me…Really?

    • Kelsey August 10, 2013 at 8:47 am #

      Oh man, I was just coming in to say this same thing. I have an APBT who is, admittedly, pretty small (between 32-35 lbs, but she’s three-legged). People never want to believe me when I say she’s a pit bull, though, because she is small, strong and lithe (but not at all stocky) and the ‘pit bull’ image they have in their head is some kind of extra-large Molosser (or possibly a hippo I have never figured out which). I say, “No, this is what they are SUPPOSED to look like” at least three times a day.

      Also, “but she’s so nice! Are you sure she’s a pit bull?” I get that a lot. No fun!

  34. Scarlett Moir August 24, 2013 at 6:34 pm #

    People are ALWAYS asking if my 40 lb black-tri Australian Shepherd is a Bernese Mountain Dog. *sigh*

    • Amber July 10, 2014 at 6:24 am #

      I’m late to the party but, I had one guy insist that my blue merle is obviously a blue heeler, No, she’s purebred… Oh well she must have some blue heeler in her background, its obvious from her color… I just walked away shaking my head. I got the bernese mountain dog question all the time with my old tri aussie.

  35. Connie Macchione October 4, 2013 at 8:40 pm #

    I always cringe when people say “There are no stupid questions.” Are you serious? My reply, either to myself or anyone within earshot, is that you clearly are not a student of human nature.

    I have a JRT, a Boxer, and a Japanese Chin. I usually only get questions on the Chin, which is very understandable, and I’m happy to educate people on the breed. The stupid questions I get are almost always on training, and again I try to answer intelligently.

    When I get the occasional RUDE question, (e,g, how much did you pay for that dog; is he/she fixed; etc. ad nauseum) the very best response is “Why do you want to know?” That usually stops people in their tracks.

  36. pommom101690 July 11, 2014 at 8:29 pm #

    I feel your pain.

    I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked if my purebred French Bulldog was a pug. Um…have you ever seen a solid fawn pug without a black mask? Secondly, most pugs don’t weight 30lbs. Oh, and pugs have tails!

    The conversation usually goes as follows…

    Idiot: Oh wow! I like your pug.
    Me: she’s actually not a pug. She is a french bulldog.
    Idiot: Oh so like a pug mix?
    Me: No. French Bulldog. It’s a separate breed entirely.
    Idiot: Bulldog? Like a pitt?
    Me: No. Not at all.

    The best one yet though was when I asked if my short coated chihuahua was a miniature teacup shorthair chow…. WHAT?!?!?!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Ask the Dog Snobs Round Two | The Dog Snobs - June 11, 2013

    […] to stay that size but it just kept growing!” Unfortunately, people are always going to ask dumb questions.  We generally do our best to avoid this by not making eye contact with people and pretending not […]

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