One of the things that makes us the most rage-filled here at The Dog Snobs are some of the inane questions that we are repeatedly asked about our own dogs. These questions range from remarkably stupid to downright offensive. In this entry, each of us will share our least favorite questions we get asked on a regular basis.
Given the amount of time I spend out and about with Mr. T, it is no wonder that I get asked a lot of questions. I consider myself a fairly outgoing person and normally don’t mind talking to strangers (I know, I know….something must be wrong with me), but when the questions are dog-related and markedly stupid, it’s all I can do to remain calm.
1. Given that I own a pitbull mix, I can’t even tell you the number of conversations that I’ve had that go a little something like this….
Ignoramus: Oh wow, is that a pitbull?
Me: Yes, a mix.
Ignoramus: Oh wow, did you rescue him from a fighting ring?
Ignoramus: I read about Michael Vick online. Is he like one of those dogs?
Me: Nope. Definitely not a former fighting dog.
Ignoramus: Oh, then, what is that scar on his nose?
Me: He crashed into a fence while playing.
Ignoramus: Oh, well what about the big scar on his neck?
Me: Sigh. That is from when he got attacked by a Golden Retriever.
Ignoramus: Wow, if he looks like that, I can only imagine what the Golden looked like.
Me: Actually, Mr. T didn’t fight back at all…
Ignoramus: But he’s a pitbull….
Variants of this conversation include asking me if I am scared Mr. T will turn on me suddenly (yes, I live in fear) or asking if I know about their lock-jaws and heads-too-small-for-their-brains (whose brains are too small??). As much as I try to educate people and be a good ambassador for the breed, people who don’t actually want to listen and instead want to prove how much they know about pitbulls (because everything you read online is true) just infuriate me to no end. I’m pretty sure these are the same people who spout political rhetoric word-for-word after hearing a pundit say it on TV. It’s all I can do to stop myself from kicking these people in the babymaker and running away.
2. “Awww, she’s so cute!”
Um, yeah. Mr. T has a penis. I know it is small, but it is there. I swear*. I won’t go more into now this since Potnoodle thinks I should devote an entire blog entry about my feelings on this subject, but seriously people, if you squint and tilt your head at at 38 degree angle, you can clearly see he is a male.
*It’s laughably tiny. It’s like a little innie belly button.
3. “What kind of dog is that? Let me guess…Rottweiler? No….Poodle? Oh, he’s definitely a Boxer. Wait…I got it! Jack Russell?”
While Mr. T’s origins are mostly unknown (clearly there is some pittie in there), some of the breeds people guess for him are downright laughable. I’ve gotten Rottweiler more times than I can count, and given Mr. T is solid white, I am fairly certain these individuals don’t actually know what a Rottweiler actually looks like. I also once had a person *insist* that there was such a breed as a Giant Jack Russell (you know, like a Giant Schnauzer). I’ve found that other people are much more eager to label Mr. T than I am. I’m going to start calling him an “Russo-American Smooth Speckled Terrier” and see what people say.
I love to take my dogs in public. They like to get out, I enjoy being around them. It’s win/win. Then you add in the general public… I hate questions. I don’t like to interact with people I don’t know. When the people I don’t know are asking stupid questions I don’t even know how to respond. Some examples;
1. “How much did that dog cost? That dog looks real expensive!”
I have poodles. Not the ratty little kind your grandmother used to carry around but actual real Standard Poodles. They are generally well groomed and they just look fancy, to be honest. Still, that does NOT give anyone the right to ask me how much I paid for them. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than someone asking how much I paid for my dogs. Usually I laugh it off but I’m always more tempted to ask them what they make in a year or how much their pants cost. It’s tacky, people, stop doing that.
2.” Is that really a poodle? I’ve never seen one that size. “
No, I just told you that for shits and giggles. This is actually a giant fuzzy muppethund. Very rare. Yes, asshat, it is a poodle. Your runny nosed four year old has been screaming poodle since she saw us across the park. Does IQ go down as you age or is she just the genius of the family?
3. “Is that a ____doodle?” or “Look Muffy, it’s your cousin!”
I get this from doodle owners a lot and NOTHING pisses me off like my dogs being compared to doodles. I have a deep, deep loathing in my soul for purposefully bastardized dogs, I should probably talk to my therapist about it because there are a lot of rage issues there. This is the one question that will get a less than civil answer from me. Usually, I respond with “No, they are purebred Standard Poodles. Your dog is a mutt.” I’m a bitch about it and I have no shame. I love mixed breed dogs. I grew up and started training with an australian cattle dog- border collie mix. So-called “designer dogs” are a whole other story. I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.
*What annoying questions do you get about your own dogs? Share below!*