From the time I was very young, I had two passions: dogs and people-watching. One of my earliest memories was watching Westminster on TV with my parents and having as much to say about the dogs as I did about the glittery creatures that led them galloping around the ring. A few years later, the movie “Best in Show” literally changed my life. Never had I enjoyed as much, or related to, a movie. Although I am not actively involved in dog showing, I could completely identify dog owners I had met that fit each of the archetypes represented in the movie…and then some. Furthermore, as someone who has spent quite a bit of time doing obedience and agility classes with own dog (a positively goofy pittie), working in animal rescue, and engaging in general dog-stalking and snarking, I have had the pleasure of practicing my dog snobbery in a variety of venues. Between these experiences and my original passion of people-watching that eventually morphed into advanced training in human behavior, I feel fully qualified to share my thoughts as a bona-fide dog snob.
I come from a long line of neurotic animal enthusiasts and I can’t remember a time in my life where I didn’t have at least one dog at home. What better first breed for a child with an ulcer than a sheltie? A series of strange events have left me employed in a dog-related business which is as baffling and rage-inducing as it sounds. In between comforting pet-owners more neurotic than myself and explaining to people that ‘combing’ and ‘thinking about combing’ are not the same thing; I also help with obedience classes mostly under duress so my boss doesn’t actually murder anyone for still insisting the flexi-lead is a legitimate choice to stop a dog from pulling (Pro-tip. It isn’t.). I also belong to a local drama Obedience Club when I try to weasel my way into classes that actually help with campaigning my super-dogs for titles. All the titles ever. Currently my house is run by a tiny terrier tyrant, a fluffy mutt and two bigger herders. Some moderate head trauma led me to the world of Australian Cattle Dogs and Malinois who give me dog-cred to the average public. The ways I will judge you for your dog choices are as endless as they are nonsensical to anyone who isn’t me.
I’ve been judging dog people since I took my cattle dog mix to our first dog training class at thirteen. From the second I rolled my teenage eyes at the woman begging her rotund shih tzu to sit, I was destined to this point. Mocking dogs, dog owners, dog sport, and dog products on the internet. I’ve sharpened my teeth on everything from people screeching at their dog to “come, please just come” at the park to people that brought their ratty maltese mix to the grooming shop I worked at and wanted Fluffy to look just like that “darling little Bichon at Westminster”. Now that I no longer work for a groomer, I save most of my judgement for agility and dock diving events where I show my two Standard Poodles. At these events, I can be regularly seen trying to avoid people with doodles who want to tell me how much they love their “poodle cousins”. All this, plus a cynical soul and a few internet friends with similar outlooks led to the formation of “The Dog Snobs.”